Grief and loss are universal human experiences, yet it affects each of us in deeply personal and diverse ways. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, endured the end of a relationship, faced a significant life transition, or have even lost employment, grief can be overwhelming and lonely. Understanding grief in its many forms, the factors that influence it, and it’s mental and physical affects can be the first steps towards healing.
Forms of Grief and Loss
- Anticipatory Grief is when we grieve a loss before it occurs. This is common when someone in our life is terminally ill.
- Complicated Grief is prolonged and intense. It often doesn’t ease with time and may even cause disruptions in your day to day life. It is characterized by persistent sadness and feeling detached from yourself and others.
- Disenfranchised Grief is when the loss you endure and the expression of your grief isn’t socially acknowledged or ‘allowed’, such as the death of an ex-partner, friend, or pet, or enduring a miscarriage.
- Secondary Loss is the experience of mourning a lost opportunity, dream or role. This is common after retiring or divorce.
- Acute Grief is the immediate, intense reaction to a loss. It is often characterized by shock, denial and other strong emotions. This is common when a loss is sudden and unexpected.
Factors Influencing the Grieving Process
Although everyone grieves differently, there tends to be common factors that contribute to the intensity and duration of it:
- The circumstances around the loss can have an impact. More specifically, the forms of grief discussed above may inform the grieving process. Sudden losses are often met with shock, even trauma, whereas a loved one with a long-term illness may lead to burnout and anticipatory grief.
- The support system that one has can have an effect on the grieving process. The presence and empathy of friends, family, and even a professional, can reduce loneliness and allow a safe space to talk about your grief.
- Your previous experiences with loss can intensify the effects of grief.
- Cultural and Spiritual beliefs and values shape how we grieve, the rituals we follow, and how we make meaning from loss
- Your relationship with the deceased often impacts the process. Relationships that were surrounded by trauma or abuse can be confusing and difficult to navigate.
How Grief Affects the Body
Grief is often an intense emotional experience, but it also has a significant effect on the body. Grief can trigger the release of stress hormones, impacting the cardiovascular, immune and digestive systems. You may notice some of the following:
- Difficulties falling and staying asleep
- Changes in appetite and eating habits, such as overeating, losing one’s appetite, or experiencing digestive difficulties
- Physical fatigue
- Headaches, chest tightness, and other aches and pains
- Anxiety and panic
- A frequent release of cortisol, the stress hormone, can weaken the immune system, increasing susceptibility to illness
Navigating the Grieving Process
Although there is not a one-size-fits-all solution to grief, the following ways can help you to gently move through the process:
- Allow yourself to feel. Try to not consistently suppress emotions. Feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, and more are all valid and important to experience.
- Create a ritual. Lighting a candle, writing a letter, planting a flower, or even playing their favourite song can help honor what was lost and create a sense of connection.
- Seek Support. Reach out to trusted friends and family, a support group, or a therapist. Carrying grief alone can be lonely.
- Prioritize self-care. Ensure you are eating well, finding time for rest, and moving your body when possible. These small acts of care allow your nervous system to feel safe and cared for, minimizing the physical effects of grief.
Grief is not something we “get over”. It is an emotional journey that we move through with patience, self-compassion, and support. If you are grieving, know this: your pain is real, and you do not have to be alone in it. At Mindset first, you can find support on your healing journey, working towards acceptance, peace, and understanding. Schedule a no-cost phone consultation or a full session today to connect with a therapist who specializes in grief, and will walk alongside you in your healing journey.
